Grieving

The grieving process is quite something. It happens whether you are ready for it or not. Rather, whether you are willing to let the process wash over you. The death of a parent, even at an advanced age, is an ending not like many others. So many factors get mixed in the soup of emotions. Things will hit you when you least expect it, like an item on a menu at a restaurant that brings back a flood of memories. Swim in those memories. Grief is personal and there is no roadmap, so each person’s journey on that road is as unique as they are. I had the not wise thought that since my mother had lived such a full life, dying at 92 that I would somehow grieve less than I would over my father dying at 61. Loss is loss at whatever age. The last 10 years of my mom’s life was challenging for her, which in turn made it challenging for my family. The goal I am learning, is to not have those later memories supersede a whole lifetime of really good ones. Being a fairly task/goal oriented fellow, I am smiling as I type that, I had set a timeline on my grieving. What a silly, silly man. It just does not work that way. I have had many lovely conversations with customers who follow along on the daily blog or social media thanking me for sharing my experience over the last few months. Sharing it is part of the healing process for me. I think we must talk about these things, as death is such a part of life. But really it should be me thanking you all, as talking about it and writing about it is part of my grieving process. We head to Chicago next weekend for her service, a Catholic mass in her honor, followed by a lunch. Each reading, each song, chosen by her. Just how she wanted it–which delights me beyond measure. The above quote I found this morning seemed pretty perfect… X, T